I thought I knew what it was, but I'm realizing I'm just at the beginning of this trust activity called life. Dependence means that you must rely on that other person. The ball is no longer in your court. You don't call the shots, but must completely depend upon that other person.
Having trust in the Lord requires so much more than saying, "Lord, I believe." It is possible to believe in someone and not really trust them. I believe that God has a plan for my life. From every mental capacity of my brain, I believe that God has my best interests at heart and He will provide for me.
The sad thing is, this belief of mine is often just head knowledge.
To fully rely on God, I not only need to believe him and what his word says about him, but I must begin to TRUST that he has a beautiful story he's writing about my life that is far better than my own.
I thought I could see, but sometimes it takes not being able to see, to begin to understand.
So friends, God is teaching me to trust him when I can't see the way. In fact, it has taken an temporary physical blindness of sorts for God to really show this to me. I haven't been able to see much for the past few days, so I've had a lot of time to think while I've been lying in bed.
I previously said, "Ok, Lord, I know you're leading me in this direction, so these are the plans I've made to reach that goal. I've saved a bit here, and budgeted there, and everything should work out just fine! I've got this under control."
Nowhere in my agenda did I leave room for handing the plans over to God for him to take control. It's taken time, but I'm learning to place my trust in His omnipotent will, instead of my weakly laid out plans.
This means there may be a whole lot of detours in the road map I made for my life. No doubt there will be plenty more bumps along the way, but I am just as certain that joy will come from those tough times.
How do I have this confidence? His word is a daily reminder that He's drawing the roadmap for my life, if only I let go and trust him.
"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understandings, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths."